


Insane Like Me

by incandescents



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-12
Updated: 2017-11-12
Packaged: 2019-02-01 13:33:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12706026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/incandescents/pseuds/incandescents
Summary: Emma didn't have the chance to jump into the darkness, leading Regina to become the new  Dark One. As the dark one, Regina struggles with her identity, getting a visit from an old friend, fighting against the darkness.AU S4 FINALE.So, I don't know what to make of this. I'm making it a one shot for now and I suppose we'll see what happens. I wrote this as a drabble, and also as an rp, but it never went anywhere, so I'm just randomly posting it and YEAH.





	Insane Like Me

**Author's Note:**

> If people happen to like this one shot or drabble, and do want this as a story, I may consider it /if/ someone will consider pairing up with me to write the rest. I can write the Regina parts, but I really am not good at writing Emma at all, or getting inside her head, so I'd love someone to write the Emma parts for me. 
> 
> So if you happen to be interested in co-writing the rest of this with me, send me a private message here, or if you're in the SQ fanfiction facebook group and you've seen my post there, don't hesitate to message me on facebook, or if you've got LINE Instant Messaging, message me @ofblackenedorbs
> 
> Be nice xD This is my very first thing in the OUAT verse. I've written rps in the ouat verse, and a lot of drabbles, but I have NEVER written any fanfictions in the OUAT verse on here or on the other ff website. Now I'm rambling, sorry!

She knows that a part of her should feel some sort of satisfaction at the sight of the blonde haired woman at the beach, looking as though her entire world had come crashing down but for some reason, the tiniest part of her that still had good thoughts felt ill at the sight before her. She wishes nothing more but to make her way over to Emma Swan and comfort the other woman.

She should probably move her ass and go reassure Emma – after all, she had spent the past month looking for Regina. She knows because at some point in this past month, she’d shown up and decided to see what was going on before disappearing again.

She doesn’t make any moves to go comfort Emma, though – no, instead, she continues to stand there, watching Emma with a look of anger on her face. She was angry because now that she was the dark one, she was a monster. She was a monster filled with great darkness and yet somehow, Emma and Henry had not stopped looking for her – they had continued to search for her as though they weren’t too didn’t seem bothered by her being the dark one. The darkness in her did not understand this anymore. Why did Emma care? Regina had saved the entire town from being taken by the darkness, so why did they care? She was certain that Henry would yet again point an accusing finger in her direction and yell out about her turning evil before giving up on her completely.

With her free hand, she curls her hand into a fist and clenches the fist, thinking about Snow White, who, as far as she assumed, probably wasn’t too bothered with her absence. She hadn’t gone off to see if Snow or the others were looking for her – the good part of her had rationalized that this was Snow White, Emma’s mother, who as of late, had become a good friend to her – whether Regina liked to admit this or not. But in her defense, she hadn’t gone to the homes of every person she knew. She hadn’t turned herself invisible and gone to their homes to see if they were out looking for her. They were heroes so of course they were probably looking for her if she had been gone for about a month or so.

As the Dark One, her soul and her thoughts had gotten significantly darker, choosing to believe the worst in people. Of course to her, Snow could use this as an advantage to get her killed, after all the bad she had done. The irrational, darkest side of her believes that perhaps Emma could have already taken Henry from her and found some way to get custody of their son again. Nobody had gone after her or showed that her absence had affected them the way that Emma and Henry had. Heck, she didn’t even know if Robin Hood had bothered to go look after her. After all, he had Marian, now. No, he had Z e l e n a, her sister.

Taking a deep breath, Regina finally musters up the courage and makes her way over to Emma, moving as quickly as she possibly can as though, if she got there quicker, that she would be able to leave sooner. Reaching Emma, she stands behind the younger woman, remaining silent as she tries to think of something to day.

 _“Emma does not care for you. She wants you gone. She has the pirate. Once you are gone, obviously she’ll be with the pirate and then she, Henry and the pirate will be a happy little family – without you.”_ A nasty voice hisses into her ear, causing chocolate hues to darken and narrow in anger.

“How _dare_ you?” demands the raven haired beauty, beginning to pace back in forth behind Emma, suddenly forgetting that Emma was even there as she focuses on the person who had just spoken to her. “How dare you assume such things?” She continues, as the evil queen stands at her side, having gone unseen by anybody due to the fact that she was merely a figment of this dark one’s imagination.

A sinister laugh escapes the evil queen’s plump red lips and with a wary look on her face, the dark one turns her body slightly to face the evil queen as the evil queen begins to move closer and closer to the dark one, until they are inches apart. _“Perhaps Miss Swan merely wishes to find you so that her mother may finally get her revenge on you after all you have done to their family. Knowing you, you will let them because you are weak. You will never fully embrace the darkness as you should and that will be your downfall and the road to your execution.”_ the evil queen husks into the shell of the dark one’s ear, hands running along every inch of the dark one’s body, causing a tiny gasp of pleasure to escape the dark one’s lips.

She doesn’t fully yet realize that the evil queen is a figment of her imagination – her crazy, fucked up imagination. She’s changed. She is much darker than before and yet, some parts of her old heroic self seems to be fighting and struggling to push the darkness away whilst the majority of her wants to embrace the darkness like a delicious orgasm.  
  
“I am evil enough. I am the Dark One, and I will not be executed by Snow White.” Regina hisses angrily to the evil queen, twisting her wrist slightly and opening the palm of her hand, making a fireball appear in the center of her palm, watching as it grew bigger and bigger, before finally stopping.  
  
_“Prove it.”_ Are the only words that leave the evil queen’s mouth before the evil queen disappears, leaving Regina alone with Emma again.

Shaking her head slowly, Regina makes the fireball before closing her eyes, letting out a tired sounding sigh. She wanted to prove to the evil queen that she could be even darker – as dark as possible. She felt angry, she felt annoyed, but most of all, she felt some sort of lust type of feeling at the thought of using her magic to torture and kill as many people as possible. There was no more good inside her – not that she felt anymore anyway. The only good inside her was probably the part of her that loved and cared about Emma and Henry, and the part that wanted to fight this darkness and get rid of it – that tiny part of her. Because of the lack of conscience inside of her, Regina finds it harder to control those lusty desires to kill people with her magic. She can’t think of certain things to avoid killing anymore because the desire is far too strong to be snuffed out.

What will Henry think? Henry will surely be disappointed in her. Taking a deep breath, Regina finds herself thinking that as soon as she will begin to make her way home, that she will feel nothing but dread. She thinks she’ll feel sadness because Henry will surely want nothing to do with her, now that she was the dark one. She’ll feel guilt, sadness, and pain – at least that’s what she tells herself.

She finds herself feeling none of these emotions when her thoughts wander over to Henry. Instead, Regina finds her emotions completely numbed out, as if she didn’t care about what Henry would think of this new version of her and she couldn’t deny that she’d felt a pinch of panic, as though somebody had briefly pinched her.

“Henry.” Regina finally croaks out to Emma, breaking the silence as her chocolate hues filled with pain, meet forest green hues. “He…” she begins and then trails off, not sure of how to even finish her thought because so many unspoken words were running through her mind at the moment.

_‘He can’t see me like this.’ ‘He’ll be so disappointed’ ‘He’ll hate me’_

She needs to separate her emotions as Regina, from her emotions as the dark one because she didn’t know how she felt anymore. One moment, she felt nothing but darkness, anger, and the urge to kill and the next, she was worrying over her son Henry and what he would think of her. Perhaps the evil queen was right. Perhaps she had gotten too soft. No more, though. No more would she allow herself to get that soft again – not for anybody. Henry and Emma perhaps, but the rest? The rest did not deserve kindness or softness by any means. They had failed her. None of them had tried to help her by wanting to sacrifice themselves for the darkness the way that Emma had wanted to. None of them.  
  
Knowing the people in this town, they certainly would not have helped and now that she was the dark one, they surely would push Snow and Charming to get her killed. Oh, but Regina would never allow that to happen, for if she ever found herself about to be executed by those two in the near future, she would know that the evil queen had been right, and she had no desire to allow the evil queen the satisfaction of being right. No, this time – Regina Mills was going to take action and keep herself alive.

“I will not let the people of Storybrooke to kill me for being the dark one.” Regina utters suddenly, breaking the silence with her rather morbid thought as both her fists are balled and clenched at her sides as she remains standing by Emma’s side.

She knows she hasn’t allowed the blonde to get a word in so far, and she knows that Emma must have questions, like why had she just been talking to herself? She wasn’t prepared to talk about the evil queen being in her head but somehow – somehow the mayor found herself wanting to talk about it with the blonde, against her better instinct to not mention it at all.

“Miss Swan –“ Regina begins, pausing before she begins again. “..Emma, I…” and then Regina finds herself pausing yet again, carefully sitting next to Emma. “I do not think it wise for you and Henry to be chasing after me all over town. This darkness is a darkness that I have never known before. All it wants is to snuff out all the good in me by making me doubt the people I care about. I keep seeing the Evil Queen show up and talking to me, taunting me to give into all this darkness. “

But why did she feel the urge to do good, now that Emma was sitting next to her? Was there a possibility that she could fight all this darkness? Was that what it meant? All she constantly felt, was the darkness pulling at her and although she still felt the darkness pulling at her, there was this small humanic part of her that seemed to be trying to fight this darkness.

“I think it would be wise if I lock myself in my vault until I control myself, or perhaps…” Regina begins, reluctantly revealing the dagger and carefully placing it in Emma’s hand. “Perhaps it would be wiser if you kept a hold of this.” _I trust you with the dagger._

“ _My, how the mighty have fallen._ ” Husks the evil queen as she appears in front of Regina. “ _You trust your worst enemy’s daughter with the dagger? See this is exactly what I meant by you being weak. Love is weakness, Regina. Caring is weakness. Get that through your thick skull. Emma Swan is your enemy._ ”

“Emma Swan is not my enemy, and I trust her with the dagger. Caring is not weakness now get the hell out of my head.” Regina spits out at the evil queen, closing her eyes as she attempts to will the evil queen away.

 


End file.
